I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
