I am puke
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
