i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
