the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
