Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
