I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Even my vagina gasped.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
