dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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