loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
