she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
