Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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