I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
