She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
