I'm eating all of the evidence.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize