yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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