This girl is more easily done than said...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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