I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
