Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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