I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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