is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
