your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I looked at my own cervix.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
