So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
