Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
