if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
