That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
