I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
