what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
