You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
