no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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