We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
