Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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