Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize