Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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