R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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