I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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