porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
