Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
