You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
