I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
