I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
