This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
