Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
