You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
