So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
