she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need to stop coming to work sober
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
