Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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