Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
id be glad to
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
