i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
