she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
