I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
