I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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