I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
