your room smells of hookers.
And success
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
