stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
