i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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