You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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