Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
