im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize